"Why?" is one of my favorite questions in the world. Asking "Why?" is an instant flame starter: people consider it intrusive, provokative and sometimes sacrilegious.

- Our goal is for our children to remember their times tables by heart.

- Why?

 Hence, you can always use "Why" to start a discussion. Whether it will be a good discussion, or will people throw banana peel at you, is another (good) question.  Many research manuals discourage ever having "Whys" on your questionnaires. They don't know what glorious opportunities they are missing.

"Five whys" is a method originally developed for troubleshooting in Toyota corporation, by S. Toyoda. The Japanese engineers believe that asking "Why?" repeatedly helps you to get to the true root cause of problems. The method also works wonders beyond car maintenance: it helps you to get to the root causes of life issues. Usually you end up uncovering some core values, which is always enlightening, if occasionally painful. You start by asking "Why?" about some mundane topic like times tables, and end up unearthing some deeply held beliefs about social class, being better at life than others, or even getting even with that mean teacher you had in the second grade in 1982. Try it, but make sure you have your heart medicine at hand.

Little children, usually recently verbal, may go through maddening "Why?" weeks where they ask the question non-stop. I believe there are two, ahem, root causes of the behavior. First, it's an easy social schema, a way for a child to maintain a conversation. Just shoot "Why?" at any utterance around you and you have an instant conversation starter. Cheap, easy and toddler-friendly, unlike some "conversation starter" sculptures you see on some people's journal tables.  However, I like to believe in the better nature of humans, especially young humans. So, I believe that children keep asking "Why?" for the same reason dear Mr. Toyoda did: it gives them a glimpse at the root causes of life, the universe and everything. And the least the answering adults can do is try and help.

Here is my "prescription" to the incessant "Why?" situation with young children. First of all, visualize the portrait of the old, calm Japanese engineer, to put yourself in the meditative, yet technical, mood. Or whatever it is you do to stop the "Please be quiet!" reaction to the child's questioning. Second, respond with true search for deep root causes in heart. And third, each time you respond, make your response longer and more detailed.

- Time to pack the toys and go home.

- Why?

- I am getting tired and slightly hungry. We can eat and rest at home.

- Why?

- You see, we have been at this playground for about three hours. I have pretty high metabolic rate. It means my body burns energy fast. When it has no more energy, I start feeling bad.

- Why?

- Bad things happen when I feel bad. I become very cranky and can even yell at people. My stomach hurts. I get a headache. It's hard for me to think happy thoughts, too. It even becomes hard to drive the car, so it's dangerous. We can get hurt on the road if I feel bad. Our friends are coming over in the evening, and it won't be much fun if I feel bad then.

- Why? 

The next one is either a detailed biological explanation of the energy exchange mechanism, a sermon on the value of happiness in your religion, or a lecture on the psychology of emotions: whichever is most appropriate for the way you are. Of course, if the child attempts to interrupt any answer, you should politely remind, "Sorry, let me finish." My rule of thumb is to about double the length and the depth of explanations every next "Why?" Observe two, four, eight sentences. Usually children get the glazed, satisfied look somewhere around the fifth ("Five Whys!") answer, and either go away on their business, or start sharing their take on some part of what you just said. The important thing is, THE WHYS STOP COMING, because children get satisfied in their desire to understand deep, root causes of life, the universe and everything. In the above situation, you can usually start quietly packing the toys around the second "Why?" - the child's unlikely to object anymore. Not only do they understand the situation better, they also feel good from the very fact of understanding.

Speaking about Whys Written by Centralasian - Thursday, September 20 2007 Why there is no mentioning of the great prize for the first comment in your blog? How so? Written by D K - Tuesday, September 25 2007 1. WHY do "people consider it intrusive, provocative and sometimes sacrilegious"? 2. My favorite answers: a) because; b) to make you wonder; c) guess why; d) if guessing is too boring, try to think and come up with an idea; and my personal favorite: e) FIRE AND BRIMSTONE, IF YOU DON'T STOP WHYING AT ONCE, I SWEAR BY MY WOODEN LEG, I'M GONNA CHOP YOU UP WITH MY [FEEBLE SWORD]AND FEED THE SHREDS TO MINNOWS! 3. Rhetorical "Why" as a final developmental stage of aimed "why"; a "Why" as an extinguisher vs. "why" as a fire starter? 4. "Why" people vs. "how" people? Feeds into #3 actually. Developmental stages of why and how, as a reflection of the mature thinking process ("why" should, but lamentably rarely does, precede "how"). WATS UP Written by MISS PIGGY - Monday, October 15 2007 WHO ARE YOU AND I DIDN'T GET WAT YOU JUST SAID WATS UP Written by MariaD - Tuesday, October 16 2007 I am Maria D, one of the creators of the Natural Math site. I suggest you re-read the post again and ask specific questions about specific parts. If there are no parts you can understand, you probably do not belong to the target audience of this post. Our Raison d'etre Written by natural952@optonline.net - Tuesday, October 16 2007 "Why?" is our reason for living. It is the impetous which fuels the fire in our quest for knowledge. If we did not wonder why, we would still be walking on all fours, happy with the status quo of existence. We need to "become", not just to "be". Evolution depends on humans asking "why". Your kid, my dear, wants to "become", to grow! Never douse that fiery quest. I see it every day in some of my students, and wish I could see it in all of them. Somedays I pray they would ask me "why" or "how come"? That would mean that they care to learn, and to grow. However, I must say, there are some students (I teach 7-8 Math and Science)that become overly dependent upon the teacher thinking out a problem for them. This may be what your child is seeking. In this instance, I guide them to solve the problem themselves. Your pointed reflective questioning can help them understand the concept better than if you had explained it. Ex: Child-Why are the leaves green? Parent-Can you think of anything else that is green? Child-The grass. Parent-Right, anything else? Child-the leaves on the flowers. Parent-Right. Have you ever heard of chlorophyll? Guess what color that is? Child-Green? Parent-Right. And then you can get into a discussion about what chlorophyll is, where it is found, and what color it expresses in plants. This gives the child confidence in his own deductive reasoning and models inquiry-based problem solving. Do you see how this can encourage growth? Inquiry is a very powerful learning tool. Hope this helps and that I was not too verbose in my response!